Dave Strider, Extrodinider
by dinosquirrel
Summary: Aquariumstuck Davekat. Pretty long.


Dave Strider, Extrodinider

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are fucking pissed. You are stuck cleaning the cage of the penguins, who are pretty nice, but the person who stars in their movies is there too. And, of course, he's hitting on you.

"Strider, please go away."

"Why should I? They are 'Mr. Strider's Penguins,' after all."

"Not right now they aren't. Go bother Kanaya, or Nepeta, or anyone else. Hell, go bother Erifish and Sollux."

" No."

"Why?"

"Because, Vantas, I like you. You're cool."

"Fuck off."

You had been going back and forth like this for awhile. Dave penguin was watching from the side, smirking. The Mayor was scuttling around the cage and was grabbing... "Fuck me!"

"Gladly."

"No! The Mayor is getting cans again."

"Which means...?"

"I have to clean it up."

"I'd like to see you bend over."

With that, you left. You did like Strider, but honestly, you could do without some of his comments. He could clean up the cage for all you cared. Anyways, it was time for Gamzee to be fed, and although Tavros had that pretty well covered, you wanted to be anywhere but there. You walked down the dark aquarium halls, moving back to where the troll fish were. On your way, you ran into Tavros, quite literally. "Hey, Karkat!"

"You're feeding Gamzee now, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"No reason."

"... That sounds fake but okay."

The two of you walked over to the freezer to get the food and started over to Gamzee's cage. "Really though, what is wrong?"

"Strider's hitting on me. Again."

"Hmmm. I can't help with that, sorry. I deal with Mertrolls, not whatever Strider is."

"I know! And only Rose could help me."

"Why?"

"She knows Dave best."

"Why would an octopus know him best...?"

"Why would a fucking octopus sit on Kanaya's head and be able to knit?"

"Good point."

"What are you motherfuckers talking about?" Gamzee came over the edge of the cage, his fins over the railing.

"Just some idiot." You said.

"Hey now, I don't want 'some idiot' talking to my moirail." For some reason, Gamzee referred to you as his "moirail." You had asked him what it meant, but you didn't get a solid answer. He and the other mertrolls used a few different terms for people. Erifish called Fef his moirail too, so you think it's something like best friends. Erifish also called Sollux a "matesprit", which you took to mean "lover." The mertrolls are really odd, and you've learned not to question it. Instead, you watched Tavros toss fish to Gamzee, him catching them every time. Eventually, Gamzee asked "Is this guy your kismesis or some shit? You seem really annoyed with him."

"What's a kismesis?"

"You know how I feel about Terezi, right?"

"You hate her."

"Not exactly, bro. I kinda do... it's weird. We like each other just enough to wanna tap that, but are annoyed enough that it's not love."

"No, I don't think I'm like that with Strider. I mean, I don't want to 'tap that' because he's a little bitch."

"That's how it starts."

"Anyways, you like him more than that, don't you?" Kanaya walked in, Rose on her shoulder. "Hey! I do not. And even if I did, which I don't, at least he's a human, not an octopus."

"Don't judge me and Rose. She's smarter than you. She knows you better than you do if you ask me."

"She does not."

"She totally does. Anyways, didn't I ask you to clean out the penguin cages?"

"...Yeah."

"Why aren't you working on that?"

"Strider's hitting on me. Make him stop."

Kanaya laughed and walked off. "If you really need time away from him, go help John with Vriska. It's about time she got her cage cleaned, anyway."

You sighed and headed to Vriska's cage. Tavros stayed with Gamzee, tossing him a ball over and over again. You really don't get how an intelligent creature gets entertained like that. It just doesn't make sense. As you walked, the glow of the area got darker. It was pretty, you guess. You aren't really sure what to make of it. John was already getting Vriska out of her cage. "Hey, Karkat! How are you?"

"Fine."

"Are you helping with Vriska?"

"Yeah."

"...Okay!"

You walk over to the cage and start to drain it. John put Vriska in a smaller cage and got another mop. "Ready?"

"I guess." The two of you started to clean the edges.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem kinda... down."

"Eh. Maybe it's a cold or something."

"That's not good. You should definitely get it checked out. Maybe go home."

"Nah, I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Hmmm." John looked suspicious but continued on. He was very easygoing, and it would be easy to hide what you need to from him. It wasn't long until he spoke again. "So... How's it going with Dave?"

"What? I don't know what you mean." John, oblivious as always, didn't hear how fast you said that.

"You know he likes you, right? I heard he was hitting on you earlier." Vriska piped up from the corner.

News spreads fast, you guess.

"Yeah, so what? That doesn't mean I like him."

"Well? Do you?"

You caught your breath. You were not going to say yes or no. Instead, you pretended not to hear. Vriska was upset, but John was okay with that response. "Oh. So, I guess the date Terezi's setting you up on will go-" He cut himself off.

"Terezi is doing what?"

"Nothing." It could have been Vriska who cut him off, seeing as she had gotten out of her tank and clapped a limb over John's mouth as soon as she could. "I think my tank is clean enough. Now, John, why don't you fill it up? Karkat, you were feeling sick. You should go home." You knew the spider was well-known for being convincing, but you decided you could go anyways.

"See you later John."

"See you, Karkat!"

What had John been saying about a date? You needed to go talk to Terezi. Before you could, however, Kanaya showed up with Rose still on her shoulder. "I heard you weren't feeling well. You should go home and rest up. There isn't that long until closing, and we can do it without you." How fucking fast does news spread in this place, anyway? Jesus. You weren't going to argue about going home and not having to spend time where Strider could find you, so you headed out to your car. Well, it wasn't your car. It was your dad's car, but he let you use it. You got in and were intercepted by Kankri. "You can get a ride home with someone else. Kanaya is sending me home."

"Are you okay? Are you in trouble? Do I have to call Dad? Do I need to take you to the hospital? Do I-" You cut him off before he could gain any more steam. "I'm fine. It's just a little cold. Kanaya wants to make sure it doesn't get any worse."

"Okay. Call me if I'm not home, or if you-" You leave rather quickly after that.

Dave's POV

"What did I do wrong? I just hit on him!"

"Dave. Calm down. He's just being shy. He does like you. Now, what did you say to him?" You were talking to Rose via a thing called Pesterchum. She reminds you of your sister, and when she needed to be named you helped choose Rose. And she is really very smart, so you talk to her. However, she lacks the vocal chords she needs to fully be able to talk.

"I told him I liked him, and that he was cool, and- Well, I don't really remember too well."

"Hmm."

"Could you get Kanaya to get the footage of the conversation? Then you can full-on analyze everything or whatever."

"Good idea." She logged off for a few minutes. You got up and spun around in Terezi's chair. She was on Vriska-duty and had to have someone take over. Usually, Karkat did, but he wasn't here, so you were chilling out in her office.

"Dave Elisabeth Strider. You idiot."

"What?"

"First off, don't say 'gladly' when someone is angry."

"Oh. Well, he did kind of ask for it."

"Second off, I swear to god you don't make that kind of bend over jokes. There is a lot wrong with that. If I were married to anyone and they said that, I would get a divorce as fast as I could. Jesus. Learn some manners."

"Well, I would! Didn't you say honesty is the best policy?"

Rose logged off. It took a few minutes, and then she and Kanaya were in your office. "You wanted to go here, right Rose?"

Rose nodded.

"Hello, Dave."

"Hey, Kanaya."

"Rose, do you want to see Dave?"

A nod. Kanaya reached down and put Rose on your shoulder. You glanced over at her. She smacked you with one of her tentacles. "Hey!"

She did it again. "Oww!"

And again. "Rose, what did he do?"

Rose hopped off of your shoulder as soon as she could and grabbed the keyboard from your lap. She showed Kanaya your pesterlog. "Dave!"

"What?"

"I swear. You don't do that. Ever."

"Why not?"

"Do you even know Karkat? Because he hates that."

"Show me something he doesn't hate, other than you, Gamzee, and maybe Terezi. And swearing."

Kanaya sighed. "Don't hit on people like that. I think he will think you are doing it for fun."

"Oh."

Kanaya shook her head. "Talk to Terezi. I can take over here for now. She has a plan."

You walked out of Terezi's office and down to Vriska's tank. She was hanging out, just sitting on the edge of the "D4NG3ROUS" sign. "Pyrope!"

"Hey, Dave!"

"Kanaya told me to come talk to you. Something about a plan and Karkat?"

"Oh. Yeah! So, you are hopelessly in love with him, right?"

"...Yeah."

"Well, he is a true romantic."

"...So? Doesn't that mean he is super sappy?"

"No! Take him out on a date at least. He likes to be romanced. Woo him. And not ironically either. Next time he's here, ask him out. And make sure it's a legitimate asking. He won't believe it if it isn't."

"Where would he like to go, though?"

You could hear Terezi's eyes rolling. "Ask Kankri, or Gamzee, or Meenah. I don't know."

"Why would Meenah know? Also, she isn't here."

"Ask your brother then. He knows how to romance people. Ask him how he and Jake are in such a loving relationship."

"Hell no. I am not going to him for relationship advice."

"Do it."

"No."

"But have you considered... Yes?"

"No."

"Do it."

You weren't going to get anywhere with this. "Fine. Where is he?"

"Ask Kanaya or something."

The intercom came on just then. "All personnel to the felt room, I repeat, all personnel to the felt room."

"I guess he's in the felt room."

The felt weren't... scary, exactly. But they were certainly something. Jake was good at handling them, and so was Karkat. Of course, Dirk would be there too. To the felt you go, then.

There was a lot of screaming coming from the felt room. But then again, that was normal. Jake was standing on top of Matchsticks, screaming. Dirk was attacking Crowbar, trying to sedate him. Meanwhile, Kanaya and Rose were trying to find Snowman the squid. Hussie the orca was also there, for reasons unknown. You have no idea how he got there. You look up at the poster on the wall.

"The Felt!

Named for their green, fuzzy skin, there are 15 of these guys all with different patterns, and most different species. They all appear to have hats, and we recently held a contest to name them. Here are the winners!

Yellow Hat the Anglerfish: Itchy

Blue Hat the Manatee: Doze

Red Hat the Lemon Shark: Trace

Purple Hat the Puffin: Clover

Orange Hat the Lemon Shark: Fin

Green Hat the Manatee: Die"

The list went on for a while. It's a really weird set of names. You have no idea who thought of them. Possibly Nepeta. Right next to the felt room was the bakery. Jane was hitting Crowbar with a spoon since he had landed right on top of her head. It was... chaotic to say the least. "Roxy, what the flying fuck happened here?"

"Dave! Run!"

You turned around to see Eggs and Biscuits coming straight at you. You didn't have time to say "oh fuck" before they hit you, knocking you over. Luckily, Crowbar had been sedated and Dirk ran over to get them off you. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Can I talk to you after... this?"

Dirk looked at you weirdly but agreed. As soon as this was all over, he met you outside the bakery, watching Aradia put Hussie back in his cage. "What's up?"

"I need advice."

"About what?"

"... Karkat."

There was a moment of silence from Dirk. He was trying not to laugh. He failed.

"Shut up. I need help taking him on a date."

"Awww. Little Davey is all grown up. He wants a boyyyyfrieeeend." Dirk crooned. You glared at him. "Like you're any better with Jake. Seriously. Never let me stay at your house ever again. Seriously. 'Do you think Dave heard us?' 'Nah.' WELL, I DID! It was not pleasant. And I thought you topped."

Dirk froze. "Fine. I'll help you."

You smirked. "What do you need help with? Ask before I leave." Dirk was glaring at you.

"Where should I go with him? He's a romantic, so I need a good place to take him."

"Oh! There's this place downtown, it's called 'The Firey Petal.' Try that."

"Thanks."

"Oh, and don't go Saturday night. Also... you may want to stay with John. Or Karkat, depending on how tonight goes."

You shuddered. "Luckily for you, I volunteered to help Terezi with night guard that night."

"Anyways. Go get your man, dude."

You rolled your eyes and walked off. Wait. Shit! He wasn't here! That meant you'd have to ask him Monday... Or Saturday night. Saturday was the 'Overnight at the Aquarium,' or something. Hopefully, he would be there.

Karkat's POV

You finally got home and sat on the couch. It had been one long Friday. You hit the couch and fell asleep.

*TIME SKIP BY A CERTAIN DOCTOR, SPECIFICALLY THE NEW ONE COMING OUT SOON!*

The next day, you woke up on the couch. Kankri was standing over you, concerned. "Are you-" You got up and gave him some peanut butter. He shut up after that. "I'm fine. I think I will go to work today. There is that whole overnight thing, and everyone needs help."

You ran out the door before Kankri could say anything else. You grabbed your watch and saw it was 10:25. The bus would be here in 6 minutes. Thank god. When the bus came, you sat all the way in the back and waited for the aquarium's stop. "Karkat! Are you feeling any better?" It was Roxy. You didn't know she took the bus.

"How did you know I was sick?"

"I know everything."

"What."

"News travels fast." Faster than light, you'd guess.

"Are you doing the overnight too?" Roxy enquired.

"Yeah. Do you know who all is doing it?"

"Terezi, Latula, me, Jane, Aradia, John, you, the Leijons, Kanaya, the Captors, Tavros, and..."

Roxy muttered a name under her breath, but you pretended not to hear. You were not going to let Strider keep you away from something you signed up for.

You got off the bus and went to the aquarium. It was quiet with no one there. You usually got to see it all alone at night, but it was pretty in the day too. Roxy ran ahead and said we were all meeting in Kanaya's office. You took your time but got there eventually.

"Karkat! You're here! Excellent. Let's begin. So, not only will we be sleeping here, but we will also be doing some fun rotations with the kids. Some of you will be doing rotations for the adults, which are more hands-on, but most of you will be doing stuff for kids. So, here we are.

"Terezi and John, you are with Vriska. We will be showing her off to the people who are coming. That's more at night though, so during the day, you will be with me and Rose talking about the touch tables. Sollux, you are with Erifish and the lemon shark babies. Feferi will be there too. She can talk to the kids as well about some things, but the lemon sharks are a touch table. Keep Erifish quiet.

"Latula, you are on watch during the day. Walk around, you're security. Tavros and Mituna, you guys are with the Makaras. Jane, you are baking cookies and Roxy is helping you with dinner. Meulin, you are with Tavros and Mituna, but I can't really tell you that since I'm not really in charge of you. Aradia, can you take Nepeta and hang out with the Zahhaks?"

"Sure. Is that okay with Meulin?"

Meulin took a moment but signed back yes.

"Does that sound good to everyone?"

Nods from everyone but Dave and I. "Dave and Karkat, stay here. Everyone else, go to your stations."

"So, what are we doing?" Dave was being curious, as usual.

"You two are with the adults. I can't put you with children, they will recognize you, and Karkat... Try not to swear in front of the adults."

You scowled but nodded. "The two of you will be introducing the adults to Feferi when she isn't with the kids and answering questions about the mertrolls. Also to Cronus if you can."

That was doable.

The two of you walked to the tunnel where everyone would be sleeping and started to set up the inflatable mattresses. "So, Karkat."

"What the fuck do you want."

"Chill! I just want to talk."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you are an insufferable asshole."

"...bkuz I was gonna ask u out"

Dave muttered something barely audible. It sounded like he was going to ask you out, but that couldn't be true. He just hit on you for fun, right?

"Speak up, fuckass."

"I was going to ask you out, okay?"

You stood, shocked for a minute.

"I swear, I'm not being put up to this. I really do like you, okay? Just... Whatever. I know you don't want to." You stared at him for a minute. "Let's go get to Cronus's tank." He walked off. You were still stunned silent. Eventually, you followed. By the time you got there, the adults were already asking questions about mertrolls, and you didn't get to talk to him. At dinner, he stuck himself between John and Aradia, effectively shutting himself off. Instead, you sat next to Terezi and Kanaya at another table. They didn't talk to you. Still, you stared at him.

Dinner passed by quickly. Everything was unknown to you as you processed what was happening. He actually did like you. It wasn't a game. And you had fucked it up. Wow. Wasn't that just like you.

"Hey, Karkat?"

"Yeah, Kanaya?"

"We are going to do a demonstration with Feferi's kisses. You should come along."

"Who is going to be turned?"

"I am."

"Oh." Normally you would make fun of Kanaya for liking Rose, but it was not the most important thing to you. You walked over to the tank where Feferi was and shook your head. You could deal with that later. Instead, you sat back by the adults and watched Kanaya get into the tank. "As you may have heard, Feferi's kisses turn people into mertrolls. However, for your own safety, we can't have you do instead, I will be an example." She grabbed Rose too, putting her in the water.

"Ready, Feferi?"

"Yep." Feferi puckered up. There was a large flash of light and Kanaya was a glowing jellyfish with horns. Rose immediately curled up on Kanaya's horns as she swam around. The kids-and adults!- were gasping. You laughed at the expressions on their faces. But soon, it was over. Kanaya turned back and got out of the tank to applause. She and Feferi took a bow.

"Now," John started. "We are going to show you where you sleep. All night, you can watch creatures swim over your head! And, for those who are daring, at around 9 Terezi and I will be showing off Vriska, the diving bell spider." Everyone dispersed, and you rolled Feferi back to her larger tank. "Karkat! Did Dave talk to you?" You didn't answer. Instead, you asked: "Who told you?"

"Well, first I head it from Porrim, and then Latula was giving Sollux coffee and I heard, and then Roxy told me. You know they keep up the gossip, right?"

"Well... Yeah." At least she was off the topic of-

"So, did he?" Dammit.

"Yeah. Oh look, here's your tank! Here you go! Bye!" You slid Feferi into her tank and left. She called you, but you ran away.

Dave's POV

God fucking damn it. He didn't like you. And you'd fucked it up. After dinner, you ran over and hung out with the penguins. He probably wouldn't look for you. But he definitely wouldn't if you were here. It didn't matter. At least tomorrow you could pretend it hadn't happened. You thought about maybe going to Dirk's. You think they should be done around 10. You didn't hear her coming, but soon Terezi was next to you.

"Dave, you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"He does like you, you know. He's shy though."

"No. Tomorrow, just pretend that it never happened. It will all be fine." You left before Terezi could argue. You could deal with Dirk and Jake. At least you had keys. You got into your car and sat for a moment before going home.

"Fuck! YES!" A British accent came from inside the house. Luckily, Dirk lived pretty far from anyone else, because you were on the road and could hear them.

Yeah, you were not going in there. If your ears didn't deceive you, that was coming from the kitchen. Ew. You were never eating there again. You drove around, eventually coming to the beach. It was far enough away from the aquarium you wouldn't be seen. You walked along the sand, letting the waves hit your feet.

Karkat's POV

You stared up at the aquarium tube you were supposed to be sleeping in. Jade came floating by, smiling down at you. You could've sworn she whispered "go get him" before she was out of view. You were near the side of the massive pile of people, so you got out of your sleeping bag. The beach would be quiet, right? Working at an aquarium, you had to like the ocean. So you changed into a pair of jeans and a sweater and began out to the edge of the beach.

Dave's POV

You saw someone come out of the aquarium. It was pretty far away, so you couldn't tell who it was. You hid instead.

Karkat's POV

Hey, was that someone hiding over there? You should go check it out.

Dave's POV

Shit, it's Karkat.

Karkat's POV

It was Dave. Cautiously, you came over to where he was hiding. "Dave?"

"Go away. I know you don't like me. Don't pity me. Tomorrow, we can pretend it never happened."

"Dave."

"Just... go away."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because... I like you too, okay?"

You could see Dave register what you had said. He went from shock to disbelief. Before he could say anything, you said "Really."

He reached out of his hiding spot.

"Do you want to go out with me?"

"Sure." With that, you reached down and brought his face up to yours. It wouldn't be your first kiss, but hopefully, it wouldn't be your last.


End file.
